I'm Taking the Shot!

Wayne Gretzky has been quoted as saying "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." I admire people like him. Hard working people who strive to be their best and who are proud of the achievements they make because they weren't afraid to take the shots.  I've been wanting to start a blog and to purge and possibly share my thoughts, feelings and emotions in an effort to heal and grow and to know myself better. So I'm taking the shot...

This isn't a hockey blog (although I'd like to have a little NHL back in my life, maybe when the debt gets paid off we'll be able to afford those channels!) I just found the Gretzky quote to be vastly appropriate. I find myself thinking mostly negative about myself. I look at myself and I feel like I've become the me that I've convinced myself I am and I'm not real happy with that person. I want so badly to be like one of the people I admire. I want to be confident, self-reliant, self-motivated, hard working and driven. I don't want to be too afraid or too unmotivated to take the shots. 

I know if I step back and look carefully there are many things about me that I should love and be proud of - like being a mother, wife, daughter and friend. And even though I carry guilt regularly about not living up to these parts of myself, I know that I'm not bad or unworthy of those titles. Be it true or untrue, most times I don't know who I am outside of those titles and I believe if I can find that part of me - that part that I lost or that was never fully formed - then I can also feel more confident with my other titles. 

I hope to learn who I am. Really get to know Jennifer - not just Brenna and Kyle's Mama. I need to be able to say I know what I like. I know what I want. I've gotten so wrapped up in the day to day and in my lack of motivation that I can't even tell you what I like to do for fun. This is going to change. I am not happy with my weight, my health or my lack of confidence and drive. This is going to change. 

Years of ups and downs, changes and things that stayed the same have brought me to this point so I know I can't make changes over night. I have a lot to learn but I'm starting now. I'm taking as many shots as I can. 

Read if you will, respond if you'd like, support me if you can. There will be more to come. I'd love feedback or stories of your own. Let me know how you take the shots and how you move forward when you feel you can't take the shots.

So this ends my first blog...just an introduction but I swung and I'm feeling better already.