So here it is…the cold hard truth…I stood in my kitchen and I cried for food. Its not that I don’t eat or that I never treat myself. It’s that I want to eat junk, everyday, all day. I don’t want to think about food. I don’t want to think about my health. I don’t want to carry this burden for the rest of my life. But I will because I have to.
So here’s what happened…After the holidays as many of you already know. I vowed to get back to work on my health and my body. And I did just that for a few days or a few weeks at a time. For me eating is an addiction. I crave sugar and fat. If I went through a day with out giving it any thought I’d eat things like cookies and cookie dough and fast food for every meal. I love cheeseburgers and french fries and the sad thing is I’ll eat them from anywhere even if the taste really isn’t all that good. My body wants most anything that isn’t good for it.
I’ve come to realize though that it’s a mental and emotional issue for me too. The night I cried I told Joey that I wanted to go out to eat and get “an emotionally soothing dinner” and though he knew I’d bite his face off he stood there and said that I have to pull it together. He’s a good man! Thank God for him!
Joey reminded me that the battle I’m fighting isn’t just about eating right it is about becoming the person that I want to be, the person that I know I can be. I cried for food because I realized that this is going to be a lifelong cross for me to bear. It will never become natural for me to make the right healthy choices. I will always have to push myself beyond my comfort zone and preferred food coma zone to be who I can be – the real me!
When I’m sharing my successes never think that it all comes easy for me and that you are alone in your struggles. That is just NOT the case. I want to share everything, the good, the bad and the ugly so that I can inspire you to challenge yourself to be the real you too!
It’s not always easy but it is sooooo worth it. So I’ll take a moment to look back to remind myself just how worth it it really is...
What this picture doesn’t show is how much better I really feel when I get over my struggles and make the right choices for myself and my body. I want to reach my final weight goal once and for all. I weighed just now and I am back to 175 so that means I want to lose 20 more pounds. I already know what I have to do. The tools are right before me – my AMAZING Vi shakes and quality and nutritious snacks and a meal. Add as much exercise as I can muster and I’m on a roll. It really is that easy once you kick your negativity and commit to your goals.
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Let’s do this!!!