Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Examining the Looking Glass

If you really want to see yourself don't look in the mirror - look to your children. Children are like mirrors that reflect the past, present and future. When I look at my children I see the child I was, the adult I am now and the adult I'm shaping them to become. I love to watch them play and and learn. I can see the wheels spinning and the sponges soaking everything in. Its neat to see the child I must have been through them. Remembering how I learned and what intrigued me as a child can help me relate to my children. Although they are very different from me and from each other there are still many similarities and remembering these helps me know how to spark their creativity and teach them about themselves too.

For example, I know that I learn better when I have visual examples and hands-on activities and I know that I work well if I make lists that help me stay organized and focused. I can see this same type of learning in Brenna and recognizing this can help me shape some of her experiences to her benefit.
In Kyle I see the tendency to give up too quickly when things don't come easy. I remember that same quality in myself -its hard to forget something that hasn't gone away - its a quality I'm still trying to outgrow. I know what it feels like to get that frustrated and to lack the confidence to push harder. I try to help Kyle gain confidence and learn how to calm himself when he feels like exploding. Its a struggle to learn these things myself. If I can help him now maybe as an adult he won't feel the way I do sometimes.

It is a lovely and sometimes even embarrassing experience to see my current reflection in my children. Sometimes they speak to me or to each other in a way that I'm sure they've learned from me. It's humbling to hear myself through them and realize that is what I sound like - rude, grumpy and impatient! That's a wake up call! But then there are those times when they will do or say something that I know they've learned from me and I'm warmed to the soul with pride! They are listening and I am a good Mom!

What do I see of the future when I look at my children? I see the adult that I wish for them to become. I see the adult they are slowly becoming and I see the Mother that I am and can be for them. 
Who would have thought that I'd find out that one of the best ways to learn about myself and find out who I really am is by looking at my children. God gave them to me not only to take care of and teach them but also to learn from them. I will use these daily "reflections" to learn more about myself. Through them I can see the good in myself and see also where I could use some work.




Thursday, February 16, 2012

On Friends...

Coming from a close knit family where we tend to view each other as friends makes it sometimes hard to find true friends outside of that. I have come to learn that having friends both inside and outside of family brings a cavalry of  support, guidance, love, memories, laughter, tears and more laughter. Quantity doesn't matter. But knowing you have a friend or friends that you can count on can make you feel at ease. Friends sometimes take the back seat when life starts moving along and the days turn to weeks before I realize I'm missing someone. I'd like to make a better effort to focus on my true friends more - if nothing but a quick call to say hello or better yet a weekly coffee date. These people need to be reminded that I treasure them. And I need the joy that they bring me!

My advice to you...Call a friend today! Find the time.



On Family...

When you think of your family do you include yourself? 

Moms sometimes spend a lot of time on family and neglect themselves. I am part of my family! I am working on making myself a priority. Focusing on my husband and my kids allows me to feel good about myself. They are among the most important things in my life and I deem it my "job" to care for them but I am working harder on taking care of myself. Making us (includes me - see!) a priority and focusing my efforts on being my best for myself and for my husband and children has allowed me to start feeling more confident. I feel more like the time I spend has importance. That is easy to forget when you spend your days tending to others and wishing you were a better housekeeper. But every effort is worth it and I have to remind myself that my life, no matter how mundane it can seem at times, has great worth. 









Monday, February 13, 2012

On Faith...

Faith in God: Since my young adult years I have worked to strengthen my relationship with God and when I focus on this and I take time to give thanks it reminds me that I am not forgotten. It reminds me that I am loved. Doing this also makes me aware of my blessings.Whether it be through prayer or simply taking an honest appreciation audit, I challenge you to feel negative afterward.
I also pray for help. It comforts me to know that I am not alone in the challenges I face. Be they big or small, I can always ask for guidance and support. I find that when I ask I receive what I need (not always what I want).

Faith in self: This doesn't come easy for me but I'm looking forward :)Every morning I have been praying for guidance for that day. If I spend my day thinking about what is important, the things that I love I find my motivation. Its so much easier to clean the dishes if I focus on how great it is that I've made a good meal for the people I love or for myself! When I am motivated and productive I feel better about myself.



How does faith effect your daily life?

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Looking Forward

The problem with putting yourself down a lot is that it keeps you there. If you tell yourself how wrong, undeserving and worthless you are long enough you find yourself standing still looking around and seeing nothing.

I recently received a wonderful email from one of my favorite uncles. He said some things that started me thinking. My husband has been sick and I haven't had time to do much, but with all the time I've spent in doctor's offices, ER's and by my husbands side at home I've gained a little perspective while pondering this email.  I'd like to share some of what he said with you..."Life is like driving a boat. To get where you want to go you focus on the horizon, not 10 feet in front. There will be waves between you and the horizon, but that's the "small stuff". You ride over them and continue toward your focused target. You can never steer a boat by looking at the wake, never look backward."

My uncle suggested that I understand and focus on the priorities in my life leaving less time to worry with the little things that really don't matter. I realized how much time I spend standing still with my life, looking only at the little things and causing my own stress instead of taking action and looking forward. I've spent the past few days really thinking about this. What really are my priorities? How can I keep myself focused and looking forward?

The people, places and things that mean the most to me can be summed up in three words that have almost reached the point of becoming cliche thanks to the trend of hanging words as home decor (a trend that I do love).


Faith, Family and Friends. These three words and the sum of what they truly are make up my priorities. These are the things I see on my horizon but are also with me at all times too.There will be more on this but right now I'm still tending to and pondering these things.

Now a moment of pride in myself related to looking forward...I have attempted Weight Watchers going on 3 times now. Each time this program worked well for me but I never learned to forgive myself when I didn't eat or exercise as well as I should. This weekend I didn't make the best food choices but I looked ahead. Without much effort I forgave myself. I understand the reasons why I didn't eat as well and I accepted that as the past and not a reason for giving up! I kept tracking my food and I tried to look and move forward - and I did it! Even with the Cajun Filet Biscuit with Cheese, Seasoned Fried and that super yummy bite of Brenna's cinnamon pecan twist, I lost .6lbs. Not a lot but still a loss and and lesson learned! I'm super proud of myself and I don't regret a thing. Bojangles was just a wave but I kept my eyes on the horizon! Thanks Uncle John! You rock! :)

By the way - my total loss to date is 5.2! Yay me!









Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Peeling Apples

I can peel an apple without lifting the knife or breaking the skin. I wanted to learn how and I practiced and I figured it out. And yet today I sit here beating myself up because I'm lacking in motivation. There is so much that can be done and so much that has to be done. I find myself doing a little and then losing interest. This is a pattern of mine that I have in many aspects of my life. I'm trying to get out of the always half-hearted habit. So today when I peeled myself the apple you see above I thought about setting goals, trying hard and achieving and why its so hard for me. And I end up back where I always end up...irritable and not happy with myself. Then not only do I not want to be around myself, no one else does either!

The issue is not if I am able to work hard and achieve it is whether I am willing. I realize that I work plenty hard on things that truly interest me. I taught myself to peel that apple and if you've never tried that, it isn't as easy as it looks. So here's the problem...I don't know what interests me and I'm not interested in some things that really should be done.

How to motivate myself to do the mundane so that I'll feel good enough about myself to try out some new interests??

  1. Stay away from technology - the computer and mobile phone is VERY distracting and encourages my laziness.
  2. Enlist the help of the children
  3. Talk to myself nicely - stop saying things like; "I just don't want to" and "I don't have the energy"and REALLY stop saying things like; "I'm so lazy," "My family deserves better."
  4. Just do it! Turn on the music and get to work. 
I want to be the best for my husband and my children but I really want to be the best for myself. Part of that is doing things like keeping a clean and organized house and preparing meals that nourish me and my family. I should do these things with pride but I readily admit that I don't like to. But I will. I'm going to continue to work on my motivation to do the things that need to be done. I'm sure that in doing so I will eventually start finding my personal interests and motivations.


Things aren't always easy, nor should they be. I will peel away the years of settling for the easy things and missing out on the pride that comes from completing tasks and challenges. Just like my attempts in learning to peel an apple. If I mess up I will try again until more times than not I do it with ease.

I'd love to hear how you stay motivated to do the day to day things that need to be done?