Who am I? I am...

Anyone who has known me or has been following this blog knows that I started this because I wanted to make some changes in myself. I caught myself admiring successful people and wanting to be the kind of person that works hard, never gives up and achieves. I never saw myself as this type of person and I've been on a mission for years to change this.

I've tried almost everything, with my typical half-hearted effort though. But I never found a way to pull myself out of the slump of feeling worthless, unmotivated and lazy. Add to that that I was getting fatter and fatter and in turn less and less healthy and I was creating a person that had no drive and couldn't get thru the day without praying for a nap. Most days I'd find a way to get one even if it meant missing out on things in life. I'd rather be sleeping.  I was on a downhill slope and negativity was snowballing. Everything fed off of everything else. I was so tired so I needed a nap, I'd feel guilty for napping so I'd beat myself up telling myself how lazy and worthless I was, I'd feel miserable so I'd get more tired.

 I started to pray. I prayed hard and often about the same thing...God please help me. I feel so worthless and I want to be more. Help me to do better. Help me understand how to live for You. I want to feel like what I do and who I am matters. I know Lord that I am loved by You but I have dragged myself so low that I have a hard time even feeling that lately. Show me God what I need to break free from this low so that I may walk with You. Help me to have you in my thoughts, my words, my actions and my heart today and always. Amen.

And I prayed and nothing ever seemed to change. The next nap came and I told myself its ok - tomorrow I will change. And I prayed some more. I kept asking God to help me but I never really tried to help myself. I'm sure that God was sending me the signs I needed and putting me where I needed to be but I wasn't doing my part. I hadn't become willing to look and listen. I hadn't become willing to be Helped. Not even God can help someone that refuses to attempt to help themselves.

I watched my friend Suzanne Barger make changes in her life. The kind of changes I was looking for. I watched her and I ignored the signs and I envied her and I wanted to unfriend her on Facebook for shoving her happiness and success down my throat. How dare she be getting what I was praying for. And all the time she was asking me to join her and I ignored some more. But God and my husband and Suzanne diligently nudged me in the right directions until one day I asked for help because I was ready to help myself. I joined the Body By Vi 90 day Challenge with Suzanne.

Hear me out...This isn't just about weight loss.

Soon I'll backtrack and tell you all about the night I joined but for now lets jump ahead. Joining the Challenge gave me accountability and I was blessed to have joined on a unwavering team with the most friendly, knowledgeable and supportive people  across the country. Add to that a product that needs no explanation because the results speak for themselves and I was finally given the tools I needed to make real changes. Thank you God!

Weight loss has been fairly easy for lack of better words. I'm 41 pounds down today about 1/3 into my 2nd 90 day challenge. I have energy and I feel like a different person. This weekend I went out in the heat to play with the kids and other family I was visiting  instead of sleeping while everyone else played with my kids! Not only that - I enjoyed it even though it was hot! AND after we came in from the heat and my nephew making me chase ground balls around the baseball field - I still wasn't worn out! I've built stamina! I'm not missing out on my life anymore! I'm challenging myself and I striving to be my best! I'm working hard even on days I don't really feel like it. I'm not giving up - I'm pushing through. I'm transforming more than my body! I am working on all of me!

Today I asked all of my family and friends to describe me in one word. I wanted to know how other people described me so I could focus on becoming the word I want to be known for. I didn't know what to expect. I was thinking I'd get things like friend or kind - typical words that people that love you say. The word I got several times was Driven! What!? Me?! I am becoming the person I have always know I can be. I am a Challenger! I am an Achiever! I AM DRIVEN!

Do yourself a favor - Help yourself! Don't ignore the signs as long as I did! Look and Listen!