Are you a good Role Model?

I've discussed before how harsh it can be to see yourself being reflected from your children. It sometimes seems that they pick out the worst in you to emulate. If you want to know how you come across to your children just watch them and listen to them - I promise you'll see yourself and you might just be humbled.

As I work on transforming myself to the person that God wants me to be I am pleased to witness the transformation in my children as well.  I didn't realize before that, while I was focusing my thoughts of myself on negative aspects, I was somewhat doing the same of my daughter. I saw her as lazy and unmotivated and I unknowingly was doing her a disservice. I don't believe children are naturally lazy and unmotivated - they model what they see and become what they hear they are. I pray for myself and for all of you that we can see ourselves and our children through God's eyes. God knows and sees the best in all of us. After all we were created in His image so our potential is greater than we realize.

Since taking on my 90 day challenge I have already grown so much into the person I've been praying to become. I know I have a lot more potential too! This morning I saw my reflection in my daughter again and this time I was more proud than ever before. Lately she has been more interested in health and fitness and even looking for ways to start her own business! She is excited to be starting a dog sitting business and working with her on this has given me a chance to get to know her better.

This morning she and her cousin came up with their own Fitness Company. They created a waiver that I had to sign - very intelligent thinking! They are offering several training options from beginner level to "Extreme" which they cleverly named 2 pack, 3 pack, 4 pack, 5 pack, 6 pack ;) and of course Extreme. They have yet to inform me of the cost even though I was gullible enough to go ahead and sign their contract! And the most precious part is they wanted to start their day and mine packed with nutrition for a good work out - so we all three had to have our Body By Vi shake for breakfast! Later I will get the pleasure of trying all of their exercises from 2 pack to Extreme! I may be sore tomorrow!!

What kind of role model will you become for your kids?

When the Time is Right, Real Changes will Happen

The thoughts I have struggled with for years are haunting me less and less. I have told myself for a long time now that I am lazy, that I do only enough to get by, that I'm a quitter and not an achiever, that I'll never have the desire to do better for my health. I started this blog a while back in an effort to work on these patterns and to learn more about myself. Then I was introduced to the 90 Day Challenge.
When the time is right (and it was for me) real changes take place. Visalus makes this challenge as easy as a challenge can possibly be. That isn't to say it is easy but the products give real results fast and that gave me the nudge I needed.
As I have jumped in to this Vi Life and began working toward my health and prosperity I have learned more about myself and who I can be than I ever have in all those years of wishing, journaling, and crying.
I have joined a team of people with the same goals and one particular person (Check out Suzanne's amazing blog http://bringingsexymamaback.wordpress.com/ )who has inspired me like no other to believe in myself, push myself and pray like there's no tomorrow! Now I know even on the hard days that I am not lazy, that I enjoy pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, that I am not a quitter and I am an achiever. I now have the desire to do better for my health and my finances and I have found the tools and the attitude that will help me do this.
25 pounds down so far and I'm replacing that with faith, confidence, determination and money in my pocket! Praise God for helping me be open to this opportunity and willing to work to make it happen.

Motivation

For those of you who have been following this blog you know that I've been on we'll say a journey to become the person I know I can be. I've seen myself for a while as lazy, fat, unmotivated and unimportant. I stared this blog in an effort to "find myself" and with life as it is. the good and the bad, its been in the back of my mind but rarely on my to do list to keep this blog going.

If you haven't heard I have started the Body Bi Vi 90 day health challenge. I am in awe daily and what I have learned about myself in just 4 short weeks of being on this challenge. I am so moved and so excited and I hope to share this feeling with as many people as I can. I won't go into details about the Challenge today but if you are interested please feel free to contact me and check out my website. http://jenniferrburgess.myvi.net/

 Today lets talk about motivation and staying on track...

I have found that one of the BEST things about this Challenge is the support group that you create yourself with the refer 3 get your next month Free. Its completely awesome to get such a great quality product for free but more so than that the gathering of people with the same goals makes me feel more motivated and accountable.

I've been making an effort to surround myself with little motivations. My thoughts, words, actions and activities and the people I choose to spend time with have to be nourishing. We so easily fall into the habit of listening to and talking about negative topics. We get sucked in to watching and reading trash via media. We even create a pattern of complaining and gossiping with our family and friends. And we assume that we are enjoying the entertainment and the conversation - but garbage in...garbage out. Negativity spreads like disease if you don't keep it in check.

But positivity can spread too! Here's what works for me...

1. Prayer - I personally do all things with God's guidance.
2. Drop the toxic friends...This isn't always easy and doesn't necessarily mean you have to "break up" with these people. Just be on guard - limit time together if needed and work hard to keep interactions and communication positive. I'm lucky enough to have started this a while back! I choose friends much more wisely these days.
3. Social Media - Spread Motivation and Encouragement online. Looking for quotes and images that are positive will lift you up too and then you can share that with your friends.
4. Celebrate little achievements and keep goals in mind -
There are days when I'm feeling lazy, hungry or just down right grumpy. On these days remember the little things that add up. Every inch dropped when the scales don't move. Feeling a little more comfortable in those jeans than last week. Drinking water when you really wanted soda. All these things are achievements and when you celebrate these it becomes easier to keep your eyes on the big picture.
5. Remember your "Why"-
If you don't know your WHY spend time today figuring it out. When all else fails you can look to your reasons for setting the goals in the first place. What got you motivated to begin can see you through.




Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day. ~Thornton Wilder

Me as a Lego Minifigure

Have you ever wondered what you'd look like as a Lego Minifigure? Yeah, me either. But then one day while at the Lego Store my daughter built me. Long brown hair in a pony tail, coffee cup in one hand and a phone in the other. Nailed it! 

Previously I discussed seeing myself reflected in my children. But me as a minifigure, that was seeing a glimpse of her perspective. Interesting and humorous. Looking back now I wish I would have bought it. I could sit me on my kitchen window and be reminded that my very observant and loving daughter knows me - maybe better than I know myself sometimes.  And also be reminded of that smirky smile on her angel face when she finished building me and brought me to my attention. I love that girl - I'm going to have a make a trip back to the Lego store and have myself rebuilt!

In the mean time - maybe I'll put that phone down a little more often but not the coffee! Thank God they didn't have a little Lego laptop or worse a king sized bed with a cushy pillow and cozy blankets. My minifigure would have destroyed that place trying to get to that!

Life, internal dialogs and other excuses...

It's been crazy around here! When life bombards with stress its easy to start making excuses. I've been thinking about writing and I've been wanting to write but I've been making excuses. I even thought I'd write about all the excuses why I haven't written - as if you are really interested in my excuses or the stress in my life. After pondering all this I decided that my excuses aren't helping me and surely wouldn't help you if I were to pour them out for your reading pleasure.

So why do we make excuses? Fear is probably one of the main reasons we make excuses, fear of failure, rejection, effort and success, fear of change. I think many of us dislike change even if we don't notice that about ourselves. When things stay the same it feels normal. There's nothing to fear because we know what to expect, we know what is expected of us and we know that the amount of effort needed doesn't change much either. When things feel normal we think we know ourselves but deep down we know there is something missing.

For me I'm sure that I'm afraid of success. Sounds strange but I have noticed a pattern of failing to try and quitting just before reaching the goal. Is that crazy or what? But I know now that my excuses and my fear are part of the reason I started this blog. Fear and excuses have caused me to miss out and to feel the desire for knowing myself better.

We all have an internal dialog. Part of the excuse habit stems from the constant conversation we have with ourselves. If we remind ourselves of our fears and justify our excuses then we'll never get where we want to be with ourselves.

No one ever excused his way to success.  ~Dave Del Dotto

So where to go from here? I'm starting by rereading The Power of Words
I obviously need to remind myself of the importance of making an effort to have a polite and kind inner dialog. When I catch myself justifying my excuses instead of taking the action that I truly am capable of I'm going to change my thoughts and change my words. I'm going to work hard at not accepting guilt I haven't earned including guilt that I needlessly put on myself. I'm going to make goals and keep records of progress. It is important to notice progress (even baby steps) and to take pride in that - even reward myself.

I also think I'll do some research on some of the people I admire. Starting with Benjamin Franklin. Every time I search online or pick up a book about self confidence, drive, taking responsibility and all the things I'd like to improve on, there I find a quote or mention of Ben Franklin and his words seem to always inspire. So I'll start there and I'll start now.

When and where will you start?


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin

Examining the Looking Glass

If you really want to see yourself don't look in the mirror - look to your children. Children are like mirrors that reflect the past, present and future. When I look at my children I see the child I was, the adult I am now and the adult I'm shaping them to become. I love to watch them play and and learn. I can see the wheels spinning and the sponges soaking everything in. Its neat to see the child I must have been through them. Remembering how I learned and what intrigued me as a child can help me relate to my children. Although they are very different from me and from each other there are still many similarities and remembering these helps me know how to spark their creativity and teach them about themselves too.

For example, I know that I learn better when I have visual examples and hands-on activities and I know that I work well if I make lists that help me stay organized and focused. I can see this same type of learning in Brenna and recognizing this can help me shape some of her experiences to her benefit.
In Kyle I see the tendency to give up too quickly when things don't come easy. I remember that same quality in myself -its hard to forget something that hasn't gone away - its a quality I'm still trying to outgrow. I know what it feels like to get that frustrated and to lack the confidence to push harder. I try to help Kyle gain confidence and learn how to calm himself when he feels like exploding. Its a struggle to learn these things myself. If I can help him now maybe as an adult he won't feel the way I do sometimes.

It is a lovely and sometimes even embarrassing experience to see my current reflection in my children. Sometimes they speak to me or to each other in a way that I'm sure they've learned from me. It's humbling to hear myself through them and realize that is what I sound like - rude, grumpy and impatient! That's a wake up call! But then there are those times when they will do or say something that I know they've learned from me and I'm warmed to the soul with pride! They are listening and I am a good Mom!

What do I see of the future when I look at my children? I see the adult that I wish for them to become. I see the adult they are slowly becoming and I see the Mother that I am and can be for them. 
Who would have thought that I'd find out that one of the best ways to learn about myself and find out who I really am is by looking at my children. God gave them to me not only to take care of and teach them but also to learn from them. I will use these daily "reflections" to learn more about myself. Through them I can see the good in myself and see also where I could use some work.

On Friends...

Coming from a close knit family where we tend to view each other as friends makes it sometimes hard to find true friends outside of that. I have come to learn that having friends both inside and outside of family brings a cavalry of  support, guidance, love, memories, laughter, tears and more laughter. Quantity doesn't matter. But knowing you have a friend or friends that you can count on can make you feel at ease. Friends sometimes take the back seat when life starts moving along and the days turn to weeks before I realize I'm missing someone. I'd like to make a better effort to focus on my true friends more - if nothing but a quick call to say hello or better yet a weekly coffee date. These people need to be reminded that I treasure them. And I need the joy that they bring me!

My advice to you...Call a friend today! Find the time.