Life, internal dialogs and other excuses...

It's been crazy around here! When life bombards with stress its easy to start making excuses. I've been thinking about writing and I've been wanting to write but I've been making excuses. I even thought I'd write about all the excuses why I haven't written - as if you are really interested in my excuses or the stress in my life. After pondering all this I decided that my excuses aren't helping me and surely wouldn't help you if I were to pour them out for your reading pleasure.

So why do we make excuses? Fear is probably one of the main reasons we make excuses, fear of failure, rejection, effort and success, fear of change. I think many of us dislike change even if we don't notice that about ourselves. When things stay the same it feels normal. There's nothing to fear because we know what to expect, we know what is expected of us and we know that the amount of effort needed doesn't change much either. When things feel normal we think we know ourselves but deep down we know there is something missing.

For me I'm sure that I'm afraid of success. Sounds strange but I have noticed a pattern of failing to try and quitting just before reaching the goal. Is that crazy or what? But I know now that my excuses and my fear are part of the reason I started this blog. Fear and excuses have caused me to miss out and to feel the desire for knowing myself better.

We all have an internal dialog. Part of the excuse habit stems from the constant conversation we have with ourselves. If we remind ourselves of our fears and justify our excuses then we'll never get where we want to be with ourselves.

No one ever excused his way to success.  ~Dave Del Dotto

So where to go from here? I'm starting by rereading The Power of Words
I obviously need to remind myself of the importance of making an effort to have a polite and kind inner dialog. When I catch myself justifying my excuses instead of taking the action that I truly am capable of I'm going to change my thoughts and change my words. I'm going to work hard at not accepting guilt I haven't earned including guilt that I needlessly put on myself. I'm going to make goals and keep records of progress. It is important to notice progress (even baby steps) and to take pride in that - even reward myself.

I also think I'll do some research on some of the people I admire. Starting with Benjamin Franklin. Every time I search online or pick up a book about self confidence, drive, taking responsibility and all the things I'd like to improve on, there I find a quote or mention of Ben Franklin and his words seem to always inspire. So I'll start there and I'll start now.

When and where will you start?


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin

Challenge: Be my best and be myself

I did it! With the loving financial generosity of my Mother in Law (who at this point is more excited than I am) I rejoined Weight Watchers! Weight Watchers works for me because I'm lazy and I crave attention. **blushing smile*** Weight Watchers makes me accountable (MIL funding will also do that!) and they give me gold stars for achievements. Seriously - I'm 35 and I love getting a gold star shaped bravo sticker. So I have officially and unabashedly established that I love attention and acknowledgment. One thing learned...check!

Yesterday I sat on the couch telling myself to ignore the headache that I probably had given myself anyway and get up and do something. It took a lot of convincing but I did. I reheated left overs at the complaints of Brenna and I took pride in forcing Kyle to try a green pea again. He ate half of one. Baby steps! After dinner I took the kids down to the school and I walked the track while they played on the playground. I called my mom's house and got my sister (super jealous - wish I was there!)  and got the pat on the back I was looking for. I'm shameless.

Today I start full force with learning to eat in a way that is works for me and my body. A healthier way without giving up my favorites. It'll be a long process I know so here's where I learn patience and hopefully over time more about me. Who knows - maybe I really do enjoy cooking. Maybe I'll find that I enjoy activities more than napping. And maybe I won't - but the goal here is to find a happy medium at least. I want to accept myself for who I really am but also challenge myself to strive to be the best me.

"If we did all the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves."
Thomas A Edison


"The best thing you can do is get good at being you."
Dennis the Menace