I did it! With the loving financial generosity of my Mother in Law (who at this point is more excited than I am) I rejoined Weight Watchers! Weight Watchers works for me because I'm lazy and I crave attention. **blushing smile*** Weight Watchers makes me accountable (MIL funding will also do that!) and they give me gold stars for achievements. Seriously - I'm 35 and I love getting a gold star shaped bravo sticker. So I have officially and unabashedly established that I love attention and acknowledgment. One thing learned...check!
Yesterday I sat on the couch telling myself to ignore the headache that I probably had given myself anyway and get up and do something. It took a lot of convincing but I did. I reheated left overs at the complaints of Brenna and I took pride in forcing Kyle to try a green pea again. He ate half of one. Baby steps! After dinner I took the kids down to the school and I walked the track while they played on the playground. I called my mom's house and got my sister (super jealous - wish I was there!) and got the pat on the back I was looking for. I'm shameless.
Today I start full force with learning to eat in a way that is works for me and my body. A healthier way without giving up my favorites. It'll be a long process I know so here's where I learn patience and hopefully over time more about me. Who knows - maybe I really do enjoy cooking. Maybe I'll find that I enjoy activities more than napping. And maybe I won't - but the goal here is to find a happy medium at least. I want to accept myself for who I really am but also challenge myself to strive to be the best me.
"If we did all the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves."
Thomas A Edison
"The best thing you can do is get good at being you."
Dennis the Menace
Showing posts with label attention. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attention. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Pats on the back
One the way to my parent's house to pick up our children Joey and I had an interesting conversation. He was saying that women try to look good for others and that is the only reason. I devoutly argued the side that as a women i try to look good for myself.
I spend lots of time around the house. It seems redundant to take the time daily to shower and do my hair. To put on make up and clothes that aren't sweats or pjs would mean time, effort and more laundry. But then I find that when I do need to leave the house I still don't want to put forth the effort to look much better. So then I don't really care if I look good for others. However, when I do put forth the effort, when I spend a little time on my face and hair and add a little jewelry to my matching outfit, I feel better. I feel like a human. I feel motivated.
So with that experience I deduce that I try to look good for myself - not others. That is when I actually try. Joey is convinced by that logic - to a degree anyway.
Yesterday was one of my good days. I actually put a little curl in my hair and fluffed it some. I picked out a nice outfit that didn't look like pajamas and I even matched my makeup (tastefully) to my shirt! :) I put on jewelry and I felt like a woman. A strong and capable woman. After the discussion in the van I felt even more motivated. I was proud - I took the time to care for myself and I did it for myself!
And then - no one said anything! Seriously? I look like a Big, Beautiful Woman pajama ad most every time these people see me and they don't even notice the time I took this morning to look nice? I was astounded at my thought process. If I truly did all this for myself then why am I concerned about others statements or lack there of? I pushed it out of my mind but honestly it kept creeping back in most of the day.
I crave attention. I want to be patted on the back. Its who I am. That I know about myself. Is it a flaw I should try to change or something I should accept and embrace in the quest to get to know who I am? Maybe a little of both. There is nothing wrong with the fact that I feel loved and important when others notice me or notice my successes. That I will accept. But my expectations of others - that is what I need to change. I will be reminding myself when the pat on the back that I deserve doesn't come, that not being acknowledged doesn't diminish me or my strides. I have to truly do these thing for myself and not for others. I have to be proud of the shots I take. In the big scheme of things my life and how I live should be for God and for myself.
Yes, when I'm noticed I will bloom faster - that is part of who i am. But, when a flower is blooming in the wild and no one sees it that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful.
I spend lots of time around the house. It seems redundant to take the time daily to shower and do my hair. To put on make up and clothes that aren't sweats or pjs would mean time, effort and more laundry. But then I find that when I do need to leave the house I still don't want to put forth the effort to look much better. So then I don't really care if I look good for others. However, when I do put forth the effort, when I spend a little time on my face and hair and add a little jewelry to my matching outfit, I feel better. I feel like a human. I feel motivated.
So with that experience I deduce that I try to look good for myself - not others. That is when I actually try. Joey is convinced by that logic - to a degree anyway.
Yesterday was one of my good days. I actually put a little curl in my hair and fluffed it some. I picked out a nice outfit that didn't look like pajamas and I even matched my makeup (tastefully) to my shirt! :) I put on jewelry and I felt like a woman. A strong and capable woman. After the discussion in the van I felt even more motivated. I was proud - I took the time to care for myself and I did it for myself!
And then - no one said anything! Seriously? I look like a Big, Beautiful Woman pajama ad most every time these people see me and they don't even notice the time I took this morning to look nice? I was astounded at my thought process. If I truly did all this for myself then why am I concerned about others statements or lack there of? I pushed it out of my mind but honestly it kept creeping back in most of the day.
I crave attention. I want to be patted on the back. Its who I am. That I know about myself. Is it a flaw I should try to change or something I should accept and embrace in the quest to get to know who I am? Maybe a little of both. There is nothing wrong with the fact that I feel loved and important when others notice me or notice my successes. That I will accept. But my expectations of others - that is what I need to change. I will be reminding myself when the pat on the back that I deserve doesn't come, that not being acknowledged doesn't diminish me or my strides. I have to truly do these thing for myself and not for others. I have to be proud of the shots I take. In the big scheme of things my life and how I live should be for God and for myself.
Yes, when I'm noticed I will bloom faster - that is part of who i am. But, when a flower is blooming in the wild and no one sees it that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful.
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