Doing what it takes to be me...

So here it is…the cold hard truth…I stood in my kitchen and I cried for food. Its not that I don’t eat or that I never treat myself. It’s that I want to eat junk, everyday, all day. I don’t want to think about food. I don’t want to think about my health. I don’t want to carry this burden for the rest of my life. But I will because I have to.

So here’s what happened…After the holidays as many of you already know. I vowed to get back to work on my health and my body. And I did just that for a few days or a few weeks at a time. For me eating is an addiction. I crave sugar and fat. If I went through a day with out giving it any thought I’d eat things like cookies and cookie dough and fast food for every meal. I love cheeseburgers and french fries and the sad thing is I’ll eat them from anywhere even if the taste really isn’t all that good. My body wants most anything that isn’t good for it.

I’ve come to realize though that it’s a mental and emotional issue for me too.  The night I cried I told Joey that I wanted to go out to eat and get “an emotionally soothing dinner” and though he knew I’d bite his face off he stood there and said that I have to pull it together. He’s a good man! Thank God for him!

 Joey reminded me that the battle I’m fighting isn’t just about eating right it is about becoming the person that I want to be, the person that I know I can be. I cried for food because I realized that this is going to be a lifelong cross for me to bear. It will never become natural for me to make the right healthy choices. I will always have to push myself beyond my comfort zone and preferred food coma zone to be who I can be – the real me!

When I’m sharing my successes never think that it all comes easy for me and that you are alone in your struggles. That is just NOT the case. I want to share everything, the good, the bad and the ugly so that I can inspire you to challenge yourself to be the real you too!

It’s not always easy but it is sooooo worth it. So I’ll take a moment to look back to remind myself just how worth it it really is...

What this picture doesn’t show is how much better I really feel when I get over my struggles and make the right choices for myself and my body. I want to reach my final weight goal once and for all. I weighed just now and I am back to 175 so that means I want to lose 20 more pounds. I already know what I have to do. The tools are right before me – my AMAZING Vi shakes and quality and nutritious snacks and a meal. Add as much exercise as I can muster and I’m on a roll. It really is that easy once you kick your negativity and commit to your goals.

Find me on Facebook to see my Challenge updates and get tips and motivation!

Let’s do this!!!

Facing the truth. Life's a Challenge

Had a great chat with my wonderful friend and mentor Suzanne Barger. Sometimes I wonder if we are sisters from another mother. I can always count on her to know exactly where I'm coming from and give me the push I need to get back on the right foot. So after reading her latest blogs and having a heart to heart with her I have decided to really come out and be honest with myself and with you...

Here it is, It hurts to admit but I'm struggling. It is so much easier to make bad choices when it comes to food. Bad choices are convenient, they taste good, the taste is comforting and they don't take much effort or thought. Good choices require planning and compromises and this time of year I just don't want to do that.

Last April I was a chronic napper who lived on coffee, sweets and fast food. I spent as little active time with my friends and family as possible because all I wanted to do was sit or sleep. With the tools I found - The Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge and the team that comes along with that - I successfully grew thinner and more healthy. I stand by this Health platform with all my heart but I'm admitting today that this isn't always as easy as it looks.

Here I am 8 months later, fluctuating between 50-56 pounds lighter, more healthy than I've been since childhood and still life can get me down. I'm human and I want to admit my struggles for two reasons. One, so I can be honest with myself and learn to grow beyond my struggles and two,  so I can be honest with you and help you grow beyond your struggles.

This time of year can be hard for many reasons, the food is yummy and being gifted, the stress is high, sadness can creep in from loss, etc. Everyone has their own story and triggers. So know that you are not alone.

I'm here, I'm struggling, but I'm not giving up! Praying for God's guidance for myself and for you. I will do my best to overcome these struggles and continue modeling a healthy life but a real life so that I can help as many people as possible do the same. I am so thankful to my team for the constant support that we give each other, without them and the yummy tools that Visalus provides I would never have made it this far and I wouldn't have the determination to fight this lull and rise above it! Love you all!

If you wanna join us let me know! :)

Check out Suzanne's Blog at www.bringingsexymamaback.wordpress.com

Looking Forward

The problem with putting yourself down a lot is that it keeps you there. If you tell yourself how wrong, undeserving and worthless you are long enough you find yourself standing still looking around and seeing nothing.

I recently received a wonderful email from one of my favorite uncles. He said some things that started me thinking. My husband has been sick and I haven't had time to do much, but with all the time I've spent in doctor's offices, ER's and by my husbands side at home I've gained a little perspective while pondering this email.  I'd like to share some of what he said with you..."Life is like driving a boat. To get where you want to go you focus on the horizon, not 10 feet in front. There will be waves between you and the horizon, but that's the "small stuff". You ride over them and continue toward your focused target. You can never steer a boat by looking at the wake, never look backward."

My uncle suggested that I understand and focus on the priorities in my life leaving less time to worry with the little things that really don't matter. I realized how much time I spend standing still with my life, looking only at the little things and causing my own stress instead of taking action and looking forward. I've spent the past few days really thinking about this. What really are my priorities? How can I keep myself focused and looking forward?

The people, places and things that mean the most to me can be summed up in three words that have almost reached the point of becoming cliche thanks to the trend of hanging words as home decor (a trend that I do love).

Faith, Family and Friends. These three words and the sum of what they truly are make up my priorities. These are the things I see on my horizon but are also with me at all times too.There will be more on this but right now I'm still tending to and pondering these things.

Now a moment of pride in myself related to looking forward...I have attempted Weight Watchers going on 3 times now. Each time this program worked well for me but I never learned to forgive myself when I didn't eat or exercise as well as I should. This weekend I didn't make the best food choices but I looked ahead. Without much effort I forgave myself. I understand the reasons why I didn't eat as well and I accepted that as the past and not a reason for giving up! I kept tracking my food and I tried to look and move forward - and I did it! Even with the Cajun Filet Biscuit with Cheese, Seasoned Fried and that super yummy bite of Brenna's cinnamon pecan twist, I lost .6lbs. Not a lot but still a loss and and lesson learned! I'm super proud of myself and I don't regret a thing. Bojangles was just a wave but I kept my eyes on the horizon! Thanks Uncle John! You rock! :)

By the way - my total loss to date is 5.2! Yay me!